The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap.
Stay safe. Eat cake.
#internetpearls
The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap.
Stay safe. Eat cake.
#internetpearls
Patience: What you have when there are too many witnesses.
#internetpearls
#1 rule in arguments: If you’re losing, start correcting their grammar.
#internetpearls
When life shuts a door… open it again. It’s a door. That’s how they work.
#internetpearls
YOU CAN’T MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY.
YOU ARE NOT A JAR OF NUTELLA.
#internetpearls
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
#internetpearls